3rd anniversary of Gotha Day

I'm just Iris!

It has been nearly three years since we traveled to China to meet our daughter, Iris, for the first time.  In the international adoption world, this known as "Gotcha Day".  Recently, a friends asked me, "So, how is it after three years of parenthood?"

Being an older parent, I'm not into romanticizing and oozing with how much I love being a parent.  The moments of anger (hers as well as mine), having to repeat a request ("please put away your slippers."), and demanding something that Dada and I have already decided was a "no".  She's adamant about getting what she wants.  Oh no, does that mean she's strong-willed?  She tries new food, but is so polite to say with her hand outstretched, "I like it, but I don't want anymore."  If it looks like green vegetables or it has edible skin on the outside, she stares at the food and says, "No thank you."  She has learned about stalling for time before she has to actually stay in bed and we leave the room.  She's not a night owl so much as a social butterfly who is lonely without one of us with her at night.  I pray for a good friend that helps her not feel lonely.  Finally, a LOT of time is needed to get her (and myself) ready to leave for preschool in the AM.  For example, even if she finishes her breakfast 30 minutes before I try to get her to preschool, she takes at least 20 minutes to go to the potty and do the personal grooming stuff (brush teeth, wash face, comb hair).  Thankfully, she is wanting to do more on her own.

May I pet your dog?

However, I am so thankful for the great joy and responsibility to teach and nurture Iris.  She is growing and learning fast!  In terms of size, she is wearing a 9 in ballet shoes, and there's another transition of dress sizes to a 4 toddler.  She's got one more inch in height to meet the minimum height requirement to be in a booster seat, but her weight is too low.  At this rate she may be over 5 years old before she gets to be in a booster seat.  Also, her memory of what we say or names of new friends amazes me.  She even makes up names for imaginary "things", such as "CHAMPA" who has a house in the play structure at a nearby park.  She loves being with older children.  Just tonight at a birthday party, she associated an older girl (12 years old?) with her cousin Gabrielle who is 11 and about the same size, from Iris's perspective.  So, she will remember Rachel for awhile.  Finally, she's starting to say, "I'll do it myself" as she asserts her individualness.  I'm glad, but at the same time, I know that I'll miss her needing me...sometimes.

Anything else new?  She has started going three days a week to preschool, and just began a ballet dance class, which she loved.  She was not distressed that mom was not in sight.  She is readily accepting of new teachers, and likes to be around cats and dogs.   A few nights ago as we took a walk around the neighborhood, we met up with a neighbor who has two poodles.  As we headed home, Iris was offered the leash of one of the dogs, so we continued walking with our neighbor to their house.  Not only was this far for her to walk on her own, she really liked holding the leash.  I wonder if she has memories of when we walked our own dog, Ho Gao, while she was still in the stroller.  She liked holding the leash then as well.  Below is Iris "reading" to a dog at the library:

Getting back to Gotcha Day, a lot has changed and I sometimes wonder when I'll get my life back again.  Then, I remember, this IS my life as a mom, wife, and church volunteer.  Although I still work part-time in teaching, my priority is my family.  I am a bit sad that we haven't developed closer connections with families who we met three years ago in China.  We get emails and photos 1-2 a year, but our lives are full and busy.  The family that was geographically closest to us recently moved to the east coast.  So, it's unlikely that there'll be a reunion soon.  Maybe we'll meet up in China again when we take our children on their heritage tour.

I've glossed over what's changed in our family over the past three years.  What I most think about is Iris's future.  Who will her friends be?  Will she develop a passion for life?  Will she accept Jesus as her Lord and Savior?  How will she deal with the emotions when she realizes what being adopted means?  Will we as her parents be too old to relate well with her?  These are concerns that I give daily to God.  It helps to rest in the fact that "love covers a multitude of sins"..( 1 Peter 4:8)  I'm so glad that He's so BIG and sovereign!